


Sorry That I Love You

by NarryEm



Series: One Direction Erotica/Fluff-fest/Wangst as written by EmilyY [56]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drabble, M/M, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 17:10:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2356118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryEm/pseuds/NarryEm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not Zayn’s fault.  The heart wants what it wants and what it wants happens to be unattainable.  Love is heart-shattering when the person you love can never love you back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sorry That I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> title from Sorry by Clooney.

  
  
Louis laughs over the phone and from his tender expression, Zayn can tell that he is on the phone with his fiancé, Niall.  
“Okay, be there in about an hour, Ni.  This meeting is dragging on longer than I’d thought.  Mm-hm.  Yeah of course I’ll pick up your favourite ice cream on the way home.  Okay, love you too, Niall”  
“You two are so in love,’ Harry coos, looking so fond.  
“Yeah well, shut it, Styles.  I can say the same for you and Liam.”  
Zayn honestly wants to punch a wall.  It seems like everyone around him has someone to return home to whilst all he has is his dog, Stark.  It’s bittersweet, but it’s the truth really.  His mum has been hounding him about a boyfriend or a girlfriend and Zayn sure as hell can’t tell her about the slew of one-offs that he’s been having to sooth his lonely heart.  
“Isn’t your anniversary coming up?” Zayn asks Harry.  
Harry blushes.  “Yup.  Don’t tell Li, but I’m planning a special getaway for the two of us.  A second honeymoon, if you will.”  
Louis’ eyes twinkle.  “Ooh, where to?”  
“Maui, for five nights.  He hasn’t an inkling that I’ve been planning this.  I think I’ll blindfold him and drive him to the airport or summat.”  
“Romantic,” Zayn scoffs.  “He might think that you’re kidnapping for some kinky bondage sex.”  
“Been there done that,” Louis agrees.  “Although that was one of the best sex moments Ni and I ever had.”  
Zayn throws a pen at Louis’ head.  “Don’t talk about that at work.”  In reality, Zayn is jealous and it hurts to think about that, Louis all wrapped up in Niall and vice versa.  
“Let’s wrap this up quickly, shall we?” Zayn suggest wearily.  “The sales have been steady so all we need to do is bring in more advert team and improve upon the style and design to bring in more sales.  Questions?”  Everyone shakes his head.  “Brilliant.  See you tomorrow then.”  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
A couple weekends later, Zayn finds himself in the middle of an office dinner with everyone.  Louis is there and of course, Niall is there as well.  Harry and Liam are dressed complementary colours that really suit them.  Everyone except for Zayn seems to be with one they love.  
“Stop looking so broken and empty hearted,” Perrie scolds him as she hits with her purse.  Perrie has been Zayn’s friend since childhood and they are roommates right now.  Of course, Zayn had to bring a date to be deemed socially acceptable and Perrie was more than happy to oblige.  She looks gorgeous in a simple black dress and smoky makeup, not that she doesn’t in sweatpants and makeup-free.  
“Excuse me for loving someone unattainable,” Zayn mutters.  
“Oh shut up.  Let’s go to the buffet tables already! I smell lobster and something else fishy!” Perrie urges and pretty much drags Zayn all the way across the room.  They say hi to everyone and Zayn manages to hold a civil conversation with Niall without strangling him like the lovesick idiot inside him wants do.  
Just like always, Perrie eats up to thirds plus the dessert.  Zayn can’t stomach the sight of Louis being so in love that he ends up giving most of his food to Perrie.  Perrie looks at him with worry clear in her eyes but doesn’t say anything.  
Afterwards, they opt to go out to a club.  Even the manager, Nick Grimshaw comes along and graciously pays for everyone’s cover fees.  The inside of the club they go to tonight is lit with multi-coloured lights and Taylor Swift’s newest song is blaring from the speakers.  
“Oh, we have to dance to this song!” Perrie squeals.  She pushes Zayn towards the dance floor area and for the millionth time in his life, he wonders where such strength could have come from a tiny body like Perrie’s.  
They dance for a few songs and Perrie pretty much forces Zayn into dancing with a cute brunet who is shorter than with gentle blue eyes.  Zayn likes him alright, but not enough to shag him.  He isn’t in much of a mood to fuck anyways.  When the bloke tries to kiss him, he just walks away to the general direction of the bar and orders himself a double malt scotch.  
“Oh c’mon!” Perrie protests.  “He was definitely into you and you flat out rejected him.  What the fuck is wrong with you, Zaynie?  I’ve told you plenty times: get over him.”  
Zayn shakes his head.  “You don’t know what’s it’s like, Per.  I just want forever with him, is that so much to ask for?”  
“Yeah, it is when he’s bloody engaged to another person who is actually likable. Man up.”  
Zayn scowls.  “No thanks.  I’d much rather mope and brood.”  
Perrie throws her hands up in defeat.  “Fine!  Be that way.”  
  
  
About an hour, Zayn goes out the backdoor for a smoke.  He takes a cigarette out his jean pocket and then lights it immediately.  The first drag is blissful and for a moment, he can forget about what he can never be and all that he is for Louis.  It is what it fucking is.  
“Oh hey,” says a familiar voice.  Zayn looks up and his heart constricts.  
Louis.  
“Can I bum a cig off ya?” Zayn nods and holds one out for his friend. “Ta.”  
They smoke in silence for several minutes. When Zayn’s is burnt down to the filter, he drops it to the ground and grinds it with the toe of his shoe.  Then, without thinking, he grabs Louis’ shirt front and drags in for a short, but rough kiss.  
When he pulls back, he is answered with an uppercut to his jaw.  
“What the fuck?” Louis asks, clearly flustered and confused.  
“Sorry that I love you, then,” Zayn spits out.  “Sorry for all this sadness I’ve been carrying with me because you’re in love with Niall and not me.  Don’t worry, I won’t ever try this again.  You can blame it all on me since it never was meant to be.  I’m a little drunk and really emotional.  Night.”  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
After that, Zayn requests to change departments and actually scores a management position where he will never have to interact with Louis again.    
It’s a bittersweet switch-off.  
But he can’t resent it all because he has always known the ending from the start, and that he could never have the happiness that Louis shared with Niall.  
it just couldn’t be.  
  
  



End file.
